Moving on is one of the most challenging phases in anyone’s dating life. It becomes even more challenging when you have to be decent about it. Whining, badmouthing, planning a revenge, begging – these are all so tempting. When you are fueled by your emotions, you can’t seem to think and you risk ending up being the stupid, pathetic fool of an ex that’s going to be the talk of town for as long as possible. The story will go down generations even when you think they have forgotten.
Yes, it is challenging hands down. Your moving on process may just about be the most difficult and most heartbreaking moment of your adult life – but it should not be the most embarrassing. You don’t have to lose your face while at it.
Here is the Remmet Guide to moving on. Read on:
- Let go of everything that reminds you of her. Donate the clothes she’s left to charity. Take down your couple photos off of the wall. Hide her gifts in the attic. Change your toothbrush. Repaint your house if needed. Rid yourself of everything that reminds you of her. This is one of the first steps to starting your life without her in it. You can wallow in the pain for some time, but you can’t live your life being haunted by the ghosts of that relationship and if these things bring those haunting memories back, there’s no reason to hold on to them. Let go of them as you have let go of her.
- Surround yourself with people that make you happy and provide great support. Go home to your family. See your old buddies. Join a new hobby group. Instead of locking yourself up in the house and crying over every scene in The Notebook (or whatever her favorite movie was). Go out there and meet people. Avoid talking about her during these meet ups. This is about you rediscovering the life you have had before her, and discovering the new one that does not have her in it. Make this about you, about them – not about her.
- Think about the benefits of being single. The worst part, for many of us, about being single is being alone. Being single after being in a long relationship can be destructive. If you are there right now, you can read this guide from SIBG.com, to make it a little easier for you. But it should not be that dreadful. Being single means you can go out and meet new women. Being single means you can go out – yes, you can go out without having her around or without having to ask for her permission. Being single means being in touch with what makes you happy – your hobbies, your friends, etc.
- Do something that’s equally distracting and equally happy at the same time. Moving on involves changing your routine and your lifestyle. Do things that will make you happy even if you are single. Try something new or rediscover something you used to love before her. Go backpacking. Enroll in a new gym. Try a new sport. Watch a new series. Distract yourself with some fun things – trust me, you’d lose the urge to booze up every day crying over her old photo.
While you’re at it, take your time. Dating anew is optional. Don’t let other people or revenge be your tool and motivation to move on. Let yourself be the reason for moving on.